Wow, brother flying in from California today.
I get to pick him up, he used to rent cars. Not anymore, cuz he bought the home, one.
The stress in my life, I want to abandoned my life again.
Although this time. Richard is going to get a full time, care giver. Until, the Dr. steps in. Twenty two years of my life, I have been his right, and left hand servant. I refuse to call myself his provider, caregiver, I call myself his friend.
Come on, only Wendy would take away all independence from her self. Well, I am ready to spread my wings and fly. I am out of here, my twin was the first to know.
Yeah, I drove to the races by myself last Saturday. I did not stay till the end. I get tired when I drive the F-150 2000. I am taking off to San Antonio in it. I am not afraid of it anymore, when I drive it. It has been 27 years since I stayed with my twin.
It is November 5, 2022 4:59 am. The Doctor’s Assistant is going to see Richard on Monday. I do not know what to do anymore. He has always been frail. I thank God he took the fear away from me of taking care of a severely handicapped person for 22 years.
I was out of here . Then bam, my brother reacted, threatened to take my room away. I felt threatened of my little territory that has been my own for only a year.
I can not leave. God said, no Wendy not yet. How would I maintain myself. Richard has put a roof over my head for 20, then he sold it. It is not his anymore, or mine, even though. It is my brother’s. My Daddy, we clash a bit, my older sister spends time with him.
My twin was over, she left yesterday, three or four nights, with two large cats. Peanut could not come in. My little dog, she never grew. Chihuahua. The female cat, kept biting her feet when she had to get up. She got me a few times.
It is still to hot to go anywhere. I need to at least take my brother up on two days, and two nights. 48 hours off since the last time he was here. He is leaving on Friday.
My courage is not what it used to be. I have gotten used to driving my Son’s Monster Truck. Ford F-150 2000, might be old but he roars. My Son in law that really isn’t my legal one, said, Miss Wendy, he calls me that. That truck is a Man’s Truck. I laughed.
Well, it is what my Son left me not his Father. I will go to a safe place on the Island. I do not know. Mike you want to go with me. That is funny.
OMG, 27 years. Dude, me, get over it. The spirits were together in the spurts of spiritual essence in Spirit with the Lord. He guided me through the darkest hour of my soul, and gave me words to write, to share, in presence of spirit, because I Am, in all the writings, in Spirit with anyone who reads any of it.
The I Am totally, In Presence of Spirit. I want to be there again. What has been written is meant to be shared. Opened up so, more than thousands of people read it but millions.
I have 18 grandchildren, one in heaven, one great grand son. My two daughters, my Son’s significant other’s, with children.
How can I help them hiding in the web. Not being open, and receptive to what is going on in our lifes right now.
I believe, In Presence of Spirit.com, is meant for more people. I do not know what to do. So I am piddling, and paddling, in, not doing but what is essential in the daily life of me assisting Richard with Cerebral Palsy, not 24/7, at 80.
I can not tell you how many times I have woke the man up asking him if he is okay. Probably thousands. Twenty two years is a long time.
Well, what the PA, is going to see is Richard, completely bed ridden. I am not able to transfer, not even into a wheel chair. He has atrophied since he was born.
He has not walked in two years. His body, is atrophied, serious, can not bend his arms, his finger are barely working. His back, and legs do not bend, his legs do not open an inch.
It is technique to maneuver him. I could teach but I have no credentials. He could not do it without me, and I could not do it with out him. All the years. My back hurts. Routine, “day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, time never ending but standing still.”
Now, it is a whole different ball game. I learned how to do what I do from my first patient from the Nursing Home. He had Polio, he was quite small. But the great thing is that I never forgot. So, I know what to do, and know how do it, everyday, and night.
I do not know how to be a free bird anymore. A path I chose, but none-the-less, what do I do? I keep my writings on-line because I have to share. I worked for 27 years on my project, and at one point in time I will have to close.
But until then there is not a day that, I do not think of In Presence of Spirit, and what I am supposed to do with it other than share it. I can not communicate with anyone. I never have. That is why I am not on full fledged Social. It is here, and there but not every where.
Millions do not even know it exists. This is entirely my fault. I wanted to share my way. Not many come to my site. It is on the updates the writing gets views. I am not embarrassed, when I do work on it, it gets a lot of views.
There were 31,000 views in October, I barely worked on it. Yesterday, it was at 377,037 page views for the year.
This page hit a thousand thirty seven words. Not all from this morning actually 6:56 am. I feel a change in the air. I have to follow through.
If I do not do it. No one else is, ha, ha. My hearts desire written on inpresenceofspirit.com, six hundred, and four writings, a few more pages. I can not figure that one out yet.
“Essentially, this is a gift to you, and yours and from, you and yours to put an end to the pain, and peace to our souls.” Now, how can I say that, this was to my husband of my youth initially, but it is for every one, that needs to know, Christ is alive in our hearts, and all we have to do is, I need you to bring me back to the I of me that is one in presence of spirit with you Lord. I love you. Wendy
© 2022 inpresenceofspirit.com by Wendy Yvette Greenwell