Slushy Muck

I have been reading a lot and understanding

the knowledge of the Word of God. It is utmost in my life now. It seems when I let go of my devotionals, and I take control. I deeply recede into this fountain of slushy muck. I start reading and writing a lot of vocabulary in the Bible.

When I think of my children, I remember how everything was broken, and I could not put any pieces together. So then I place them in the trust of God, and the ex’s quest to be other than a deadbeat dad, as he so always said, lasts three or four years.

All the things

He was not to the children he has to be now, and sometimes I think he is not going to be able to do it. He realizes all the responsibility for it, not just financial. I hope he is strong enough. See, I do not wish harm on him; he is not that strong. Children needed the dad they never had. I hope he is that man and dad he wanted to be. You know there is a negative side to this. I hope he is being all he can be, importantly not letting our children down. Because Mom doesn’t have anything. I am handling it.

It is quite late. I am glad I got to talk to you. Thank you for your insight, and inspiration. You have blessed me with a real understanding that I have needed desperately for years. My growth is not limited, and is exceeding in the right progression, for what I have been through.

I wish not to leave my children out of this, but I can only do something for me for their benefit tomorrow. I am building a tower of precious jewels, positive thinking, etc. All resources are being tapped into. I believe the spirit is working, preparing the way for me to help benefit others, use my knowledge, etc., to help people in my condition, “World Condition.”

I have faith in all God’s words—past, present, and future; we

Can only get there one day at a time. A lot of my writing is different, don’t you think? May the grace of God adorn you in all your works through Jesus Christ our Lord and bless you completely. June 3, 1996

Over Again

If I had it all to do over again. I would have listened to my Lord because I heard him. I was part of a circle that needed to come to an end of the cycle. Thank you, Lord. June 7, 1996

God is the foundation that gives us life. Man is dominant only in his stupidity; alcohol destroys families. “Write God’s words to begin to end, what exactly He and only He says, from the Holy Spirit through Christ Our Lord, Amen.” “But know I got caught up in the moment,” “make them look.” June 8, 1996

Reading and writing, knowledge is limitless. The Bible is past, present, and future. Omnipresent since its writings. The heart searches for its home all its born day. The heart is the home of the highest. The soul, choose to live, and you will have everlasting life. Through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Six mountains to climb; the seventh you rest with and through Jesus Christ. While the sheathing of the old ways,  memories with pain, the sins you have in yourself, and those that have affected your life adversely. The new seeds are planted through the regeneration of the truth we all have, inside us. June 10, 1996

I have ups and downs. I know we all do. I know all my diligent study in the Bible is helping my future. The regeneration is regenerating itself through the energy that is Jesus Christ Holy Spirit. I can see it around me. June 13, 1996

Solitary: I have not been sleeping, restless, lonely probably, no dwelling of my own, no escape, no fantasy, dealing with reality. I am using my time wisely, not being idle in mind. I needed a lot of knowledge to get through this spiritual awakening solitary. Me and the Spirit of Our Heavenly Father.

I have not wasted these last six months at all.

Painful, but I have an inside understanding of the degeneration that has haunted man in our sphere of time and reason. It took giving up sole possession of everything, even my stuff, and being left with nothing. Two months later I got my maiden name back.

I fought through hell to come back to some forgiveness of myself, reasons, situations, and circumstances. I have to get out in public, but all my time, in the research of God’s word, I have run across quicksand. No one believes you except my guardian angel. Quick to judge, sure to condemn.

Whose condemnation is it? Not mine; your time will come. My time was just sooner. Believe what you may, all the words written in the Bible are yesterday; today, is tomorrow.

Past, present, and future: God’s gift is the present. Sheathe the past through Jesus Christ Holy Spirit and look forward to the future. For it is only through Jesus Christ that we can be forgiven; He is the opening of our souls. Then the baptism—the death of sin, rebirth through and with Jesus Christ, the redemption of our sins—the cleansing sometimes continues; you do not think you can take another development, and a bigger one comes around. June 14, 1996

Perceive

Now, I can perceive. Before, when I was in the muck of destruction, I could not think. Now I have an unlimited span in my mind’s eye. There it stands firm in my being. June 16, 1996,

Confused: I am confused about my spiritual awareness; the knowledge is there, it is all in my writings, my keepsakes, which are essential to me. I know the meaning of truth. I can write it, but I can not speak it.

June 17, 1996: In the past five and a half months, I have been reading God’s Words, studying daily for hours. I have written prayers, letters, and vocabulary, and set a definite consciousness of the presence of God, which I felt I could not reach. All the things that need to be done will be done in perfect order in perfect time. June 17, 1996, Wendy Yvette Greenwell.