Tag Archives: courage

1996

I HAVE REGRESSED

I have regressed a bit, but I am in reality.

Shadow on My Trees
My fantasy only saved me when everything was crashing down

It was a tough week, previous. I need to strive totally for my independence, and I am satisfied with all the Divorce, for now, later it will be a completely different story.

 

All the years were a struggle.

    I am not happy with what I put up with, the way I reacted to him, the way the children were’ in the middle of our hatred. It should not have happened. I cannot blame anyone but myself, for being so vulnerable to lies, deceit, confusion, rudeness, unfaithfulness.

My fantasy only saved me when everything was crashing down

And my husband then was suffering from his sufferings, and he was not able to talk about it. There is a big difference between honesty and deceit. I do not hate him; I do not love him either. I would rather be by myself then to subject myself to another man’s rules and regulations, his power, and control, to put down my existence. I feel like I am twelve what regression. It is not easy, but I know significant changes are going to be happening.

I do love, it here in San Antonio,

I was tired of The Valley to many memories. Not good at forgetting all my trauma’s right now. I know there are worse things that could have happened. I am such an outcast, not a people person, my esteem I have zero, I have to pick myself up.

How could I be so coy,

Oh God, I have let myself suffer so much, and I could not do anything about the outcome. I always wanted him to be more of a part of the children’s life. I will never feel sorry for her or be happy for her, I have given her to much emotion, and she has my family.

    I lost my husband because of her and his not being able to forgive himself for the awful years he was so cruel to me. He wanted to do it right, it to me is not fair, but I do hope he gets there even if it is with her.

    He said it took six years to get over me holding a grudge because I told him I had a crush on my third pregnancy Dr. who I had confided all that I had succumbed to all the abuse, those six years most important part of our children growing up. He was cruel and suave, neglected everything except his career, I had no other choice than to put up, and this is what I got. It is going to get better, and at this point, it is all I can handle.

It is Sunday, I read the Bible, and I feel some relief.

This has been a hard week also. Important crucial to the addicted person state and confusion and or being addicted to the addicted person. April 22, 1996, Wendy Yvette Greenwell

    March 12, 2018, My Dad wants us, my twin and I do see him today. He is 85 now, and he has some issues going on that he is worried about. We are an hour and a half away from where he lives. My sister fell and hurt herself on the rib cage, so I am driving. It has been some time since I have driven to the Arroyo.

Her husband is staying with Richard and my dog and their dog that is 18 blind and can not hear, it is so sad, but she is still trucking around.

    I know I am going back to 1996, it is all meant to go together. So it does not matter what year I pick on. I am on a roll. This is the 50th day that I have Published, and I feel I need to continue. No matter how uncomfortable I am at times.

   The first six months was cleaning out the cobwebs so to speak. So with all of this, I am going to keep this on here, and Publish. The Picture is dark, but I do not care. It is Fabulous, I have never taken a picture of my trees with a shadow before, so it is exceptional. Take care; God Bless The World and Everyone On It. Are you ready, I can not believe myself sometimes. I have to Publish it. February 9, 2019, Wendy

© 1996-2023 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell

1996

WRITING IS PERSONABLE

Thank you for helping me through the hardest time of my life.

Moon Photo
Thank you for helping through the hardest time of my life

Writing is just much more personable. I am a little impatient.

I have been writing a lot, knowledge of the understanding of the Bible. I am thankful for my twin the anger I once had is gone from God. He fixes what needs to be fixed.

    In The Bible, we need to read it in the present tense. You are a master involved in so many outlets helping people with knowledge.

    The understanding of different aspects of the whole realm of your studies in your discipleship. I hope with the studying of the Books of The Bible that one day I will be able to give at least a fourth of what you have provided in your lifetime. I look like a failure at marriage and children in life ha!

    But now tense I am where God wants me to be. I am growing inward which will be more fruitful tomorrow.

    A lifetime of negative has to replace itself with the truth of our existence. There has to be more, and there is. I will get passed this and hopefully be able to push my way out into the World. May 29, 1996

    March 11, 2018, To my 72-year-old friend, guardian angel, I used to call her. I am second guessing myself. Should I, Could I, Would I, Shall I, Yes I think I will. February 9, 2019, Wendy

© 1996-2023 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell

1996

ACHES AND PAINS

Aches and pains feel like crawling in a hole and never coming out.

My beautiful Tree and Moon
Inner self, please start peaking through show me help me

Desperate, at the end of the dead end. What is keeping me back? Where is any confidence?

Inner self, please start peaking through show me, help me, show me of my truth of existence, vice versa.

    You know way more than I for I am but a pin, widen my perception. I see a lot the knowledge reasoning understanding of the Bible in an I was their text.

    So we have God’s foundation, and the death and resurrection as Christ did, we have the Baptism through the Holy Spirit, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

    The deliverance from evil. Seven times will pass over. Seven mountains to climb. The death of the inner person who has an individual but equal soul to each and every potential, in the Spiritual plane in awareness. Inner Spiritual Wendy give me some help here. May 19, 1996, Wendy Yvette Greenwell

    March 10, 2018, once again last minute Publication. Too much going on. I feel I need to Publish anyway. February 9, 2019, Wendy

© 1996-2023 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell

2012

EACH TIME



Each time I read, and work on my writings, it is as it was the first time.

Magnetized Moon
Each time I read and work on my writings, it is as it was the first time

It is always in presence of spirit.

“In Presence of Spirit,” one in spirit, one in the Lord. In an everlasting splendor of the Presence in such explicit detail.

    All the while knowing one day I will share my times, In Presence of Spirit, with you. The one that is reading right here, right now. It has been for you since the beginning, as well with me forever, because it is my life’s purpose to fulfill The Holy Spirit through my conversations, “In Presence of Spirit.” May 15, 2012, Wendy Yvette Greenwell

© 2012-2022 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell

2008

DIFFERENCE



See there is a difference in our letters, and my writings.

Moon between My Trees
See there is a difference in our letters and my writings

His are to his first family, well our family, and they are significant to the fulfillment of “In Presence of Spirit,” as a whole developmental process from beginning to end.

The first book is the credentials

that I had done at the time; it was in no way complete. So I am sitting here with 330 books that are complete in regard, it is a book of its own.

It has been read by the family on my mom’s side only.

    I have the rest of everything I wrote, and that makes it three books in one. But what? There are three more years of writing after “Reflections of In Presence of Spirit,” that I did not realize until 2008. So I guess that makes it, more parts of the whole.

So with all this,

I am going to merge his letters with my writings a unique combination of flesh versus spirit, in this remarkable journey we have been on. I unite my writings  2005 with that of the letters the husband of my youth wrote the children and me, and I share them with anyone who wants to read it. I assure you, you will not get bored. “I decided long ago to leave his letters out; I gave him credit where no credit was do, honestly. I need to Publish for Publishing’s sake right now.”

It is from the Spirit of Christ, and he joined us,

as one in Spirit, because we never got here when we were’ married.

This love for him is better in Spirit,

So we may never again be entwined in the flesh, we are and will always be in the Spirit of “In Presence of Spirit in Conversations with the Lord, and of course, “Reflections of In Presence of Spirit,” in which we share in our commitment and our communications with each other, our love and understanding of the knowledge that is given through Jesus Christ our Savior, the only ruler of our souls. March 22, 2008, Wendy Yvette Greenwell, I am going to have to Publish as is because I can not change it, and I am running out of time.

© 2008-2022 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell