Tag Archives: darkness

1996

BACK IN THE BIBLE

I am back in the Bible.

Instant Photo
It is easy reading when you have an understanding.

I have been reading, writing vocabulary, and writing scriptures. I cannot sing right now. I am not going to give up on getting a job.

    You know I needed to be with my twin. For many years I was hurt, she was not with me back in the day, she hid out so to speak. Anyway, I have overcome a lot of things from the past. Boy, my twin and I are  Twins. I feel safe with her; I wait for her, miss her. God did Bless me with a Twin. Growing up we always had each other period. So I was not ever a people person.

When you are a kid time is so slow,

    It feels, then, fifteen years have gone by Nineteen years she has lived in San Antonio and me in the Valley. I have been here since February 10, 1996, my thirty-sixth birthday. I have been gone since December 29, 1995. I left. I had to for the kids; they refused to go to the shelter with me. I had no other choice.

    This scripture is why I know it was and is right that I left. Malachi 4:6 “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”

It is easy reading when you have an understanding.

    As it is written, “as it is unto this day,” in many of the verses in the Bible. Writings pertain to the past, the present, the future.

The fascinating, powerful scriptures are Romans:

    The whole Epistle. That is the one which should be read through in Church. The Gift is there in totality. If everyone read the Romans, they would have more understanding. Everything pertains, and we all have to find the Christ within.

    I like reading the Bible, and when I come to a word Supplications entreat earnestly address in prayer. Daniel 9:23 “beginning of thy supplications the commandment came forth, and I come to show thee, for thou art greatly beloved; therefore understand the matter, and consider the vision.”

This is fun for me.

    The Thesaurus of these words is incredible, so many words mean the same thing, all meaning in one word from God. I do freak out sometimes when we are on the expressway there are so many people, and how many are searching? How many are afflicted by abuse? How many? I try to see my part of society, and I withdraw. I lost fifteen years, and I am judged. I have some obstacles to jump over but, at least I am going forward. I am getting stronger, further from the past.

I have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring.

    I do not know where I stand with my pre-teens. It has been a month since I have seen them. I have no plans to go down there, even if I wanted to it would be on someone else’s wallet, car time, so when I can do it myself, and when I am ready I will go, I might be being stingy, I am still affected by my loss, and I need more time.

    I have accepted all of it because it was my choice in leaving, it is just a shame that I fell and lies prevailed. It is a shame. It is like I am dead. What is there to be here for but I am destined not to die to until He is ready to take me. I am probably depressing you sorry.

    I am working on working I will overcome this sooner or later will see what time brings. I hope something good. This is the pits. May 14, 1996, Wendy Yvette Greenwell

     Now why would I Publish my writings like this. My conversations, with my guardian angel. This one is a letter to her. It belongs with all the rest, no matter how uncomfortable I am at times. Wendy

© 1996-2023 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell

1996

I HAVE REGRESSED

I have regressed a bit, but I am in reality.

Shadow on My Trees
My fantasy only saved me when everything was crashing down

It was a tough week, previous. I need to strive totally for my independence, and I am satisfied with all the Divorce, for now, later it will be a completely different story.

 

All the years were a struggle.

    I am not happy with what I put up with, the way I reacted to him, the way the children were’ in the middle of our hatred. It should not have happened. I cannot blame anyone but myself, for being so vulnerable to lies, deceit, confusion, rudeness, unfaithfulness.

My fantasy only saved me when everything was crashing down

And my husband then was suffering from his sufferings, and he was not able to talk about it. There is a big difference between honesty and deceit. I do not hate him; I do not love him either. I would rather be by myself then to subject myself to another man’s rules and regulations, his power, and control, to put down my existence. I feel like I am twelve what regression. It is not easy, but I know significant changes are going to be happening.

I do love, it here in San Antonio,

I was tired of The Valley to many memories. Not good at forgetting all my trauma’s right now. I know there are worse things that could have happened. I am such an outcast, not a people person, my esteem I have zero, I have to pick myself up.

How could I be so coy,

Oh God, I have let myself suffer so much, and I could not do anything about the outcome. I always wanted him to be more of a part of the children’s life. I will never feel sorry for her or be happy for her, I have given her to much emotion, and she has my family.

    I lost my husband because of her and his not being able to forgive himself for the awful years he was so cruel to me. He wanted to do it right, it to me is not fair, but I do hope he gets there even if it is with her.

    He said it took six years to get over me holding a grudge because I told him I had a crush on my third pregnancy Dr. who I had confided all that I had succumbed to all the abuse, those six years most important part of our children growing up. He was cruel and suave, neglected everything except his career, I had no other choice than to put up, and this is what I got. It is going to get better, and at this point, it is all I can handle.

It is Sunday, I read the Bible, and I feel some relief.

This has been a hard week also. Important crucial to the addicted person state and confusion and or being addicted to the addicted person. April 22, 1996, Wendy Yvette Greenwell

    March 12, 2018, My Dad wants us, my twin and I do see him today. He is 85 now, and he has some issues going on that he is worried about. We are an hour and a half away from where he lives. My sister fell and hurt herself on the rib cage, so I am driving. It has been some time since I have driven to the Arroyo.

Her husband is staying with Richard and my dog and their dog that is 18 blind and can not hear, it is so sad, but she is still trucking around.

    I know I am going back to 1996, it is all meant to go together. So it does not matter what year I pick on. I am on a roll. This is the 50th day that I have Published, and I feel I need to continue. No matter how uncomfortable I am at times.

   The first six months was cleaning out the cobwebs so to speak. So with all of this, I am going to keep this on here, and Publish. The Picture is dark, but I do not care. It is Fabulous, I have never taken a picture of my trees with a shadow before, so it is exceptional. Take care; God Bless The World and Everyone On It. Are you ready, I can not believe myself sometimes. I have to Publish it. February 9, 2019, Wendy

© 1996-2023 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell

1996

ACHES AND PAINS

Aches and pains feel like crawling in a hole and never coming out.

My beautiful Tree and Moon
Inner self, please start peaking through show me help me

Desperate, at the end of the dead end. What is keeping me back? Where is any confidence?

Inner self, please start peaking through show me, help me, show me of my truth of existence, vice versa.

    You know way more than I for I am but a pin, widen my perception. I see a lot the knowledge reasoning understanding of the Bible in an I was their text.

    So we have God’s foundation, and the death and resurrection as Christ did, we have the Baptism through the Holy Spirit, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

    The deliverance from evil. Seven times will pass over. Seven mountains to climb. The death of the inner person who has an individual but equal soul to each and every potential, in the Spiritual plane in awareness. Inner Spiritual Wendy give me some help here. May 19, 1996, Wendy Yvette Greenwell

    March 10, 2018, once again last minute Publication. Too much going on. I feel I need to Publish anyway. February 9, 2019, Wendy

© 1996-2023 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell

2018

WENDY’S GALLERY

Gallery

Unique Photos

    I wanted to do a Gallery. Just playing around. These are all out of the ordinary kind of pictures. I think they belong here on inpresenceofspirit.com. I am having fun working on my writings again. Thank you for visiting the “inpresenceofspirit.com Website. Wendy Yvette Greenwell March 4, 2018, February 9, 2019, This was a birthday present for me, for the next day.

© 2018-2023 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell

2017

HI OUT THERE

Hi, out there in the World.

Hi out there in the World I need all your help

I need all your help.

    I can not come out of my funk by myself. I need a constructive overall outcome, and I am in poor strength. I am weak I choose to be strong, I want everything “In Presence of Spirit,” has stated, and documented, and Published.

Important time!

    I need to work, on loving with one heart to heal through Jesus Christ. I fell down literally, I am going to feel it later. Wrist, elbow, shoulder, sciatica on the left side, Wonderful!

I have to, I need to, I should, no more excuses.

    Get out of your rut. Your lack of energy, your lack of enthusiasm, your lack of love, understanding, patience, understanding, courage, endurance, guidance, weak, need the ignition switch to ignite, and guide me out of lack of abundance.

I am worthy.

    I am abundantly blessed with all my extensions of my times, “In Presence of Spirit, with The Lord.” They are etched in my mind, heart, and soul. I wish to be with them in heart, mind, and soul, and raise my inner awareness, to peak out, and help me find the people that need to know now.

Help me spread the news that, The Lord God Almighty is present, “In Presence of Our Spirit.” “Everyone’s!”

    For the Love of God is here, and I want to feel again. I want to be ignited with the passion of the ever presence. I want to be alive in Spirit. In the here, and now of yesterday’s, tomorrows.” May 21, 2017, Wendy Yvette Greenwell

© 2017-2023 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell

2017

HELP ME LORD

Lord, I ask in your name,

for forgiveness for everything I have done that is not right with you.

Moon with a twist of light
Access better resources for my today’s which will benefit tomorrow.

    Forgive me for cussing. Forgive me for my misery. Forgive me for not forgiving the ones that hurt me the most. Help me forgive them. Forgive me for being overweight, uneducated, sad, depressed. I am not lonely, but I do need some spark to ignite the light of love in my heart again.

Help me, Lord.

    Give me the strength to carry on. Help me Lord with all I need to do. I need You, Lord. I Love You, Lord. I am screaming inside I need your help! I need You, Lord. Jesus, I Love You. Show me Your way again. Hold fast my love for You and bring me out of darkness into the light of Your Ever Presence. I am calling out! Can you hear me?

I aspire to complete my mission of “In Presence of Spirit.”

    Expedite into a paycheck and a way to get all my grand-kids some Christmas Presents. Sale the books so I can help Richard pay the taxes and get Richard his lift chair, and the other essential things he needs. Handicap accessible.

I have to start with the old, in with the new day, the new outlook on everything,

    I need to do, to access better resources for my today’s which will benefit tomorrow. I have written some pretty awesome conversations with the Lord. I have shared it since September 2011. Six years, to my first love first, Blogger, The Website on December 13, 2013.

Do it, Wendy!

    Do it! You can do it. Yes, you can! You can do it and get over it. Work your mind, walk, plant your garden. Do it!

Finally,

I admitted that the husband of my youth was not nor ever had been my one true physical love. For me, he does not exist. My God and Lord saved me from any more damnation. Even though I have had to deal with all my children’s choices. I am tired and they are all in their thirties. I am 57 the years have not been easy. Love me or not. May 21, 2017, Wendy Yvette Greenwell “I can not believe myself sometimes.”

© 2017-2023 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell

2017

EGO BASED

Yeah, good name.

Special Night Photo
I could not have made it through all these years without my times, “In Presence of Spirit,” with The Holy Spirit of The Lord.

    A person wrote that my inpresenceofspirit.com is from my ego. Her ego is getting convicted. That is why she cannot fathom the depths of my life’s misery from without to within, “In Presence of Spirit.” Ego has nothing to do with it, period end of the story.

    I have thrown out there hundreds of writings, from both my sites. I do not call the forgiveness of sins and who is responsible for me to write in the way I did, I have, and I am. It is in the I of me that is “In Presence of Spirit,” with The Holy Spirit of The Lord. I tell all of you, I could not have made it through all these years without my times, “In Presence of Spirit,” with The Holy Spirit of The Lord. Repeat on that one.

    My private conversations with The Lord has been out there since September 2011. I threw it out there all messed up, and I had to put it all together again. May 6, 2017

I have been shouting out to the World my writings since September 2011.

    Too bad, I deleted everything on Facebook. I went for it because I had to tell my first love before I could figure out how I was going to say it to The World about, “In Presence of Spirit,” and the extensions.

    I am content with not having any substantial personal comments about my writings in General. I ran across one on the web where my writings are some of them anyway a woman wrote, “that all of it comes from my ego.” I do not see that. There was nothing left of me when I sunk into my inner chamber and accepted in complete totality, The Savior’s gift to me. Forgiveness of sins and the inheritance of His Gift to me, a sinner in bondage, straightway from my hell into His Heaven.

The Spirit of The Lord lifted me out of darkness into the light of His Ever-presence.

    In One with God The Father, God The Son, God The Holy Spirit. The instant I accepted him into my innermost being, He sparked the light lets of His Divine Promise to me broken from bondage to prepare a way for me to write all our times, “In Presence of Spirit.”

    That they are, I was not having conversations with myself. I am having conversations with The Lord. Since the beginning. I knew one day I would share them with the World. It is for the Spirit of The Lord’s purpose that I continue to share my writings.

    I am not in good shape. I have several issues, what is the use? Close it up. Who cares. So I have begun my manuscript. I have kept myself from mourning my 2007 HP Pavilion and all its contents. I still have the pictures on the sites.

For years, my ex-husband would pop up.

    He came to see the growing family, visit, stay the night. Not with me on the couch. Then one night in July 2016 he shows up for an all-niter. He saw the six people who were living here then; he visited with Richard then he found me outside in the backyard, with my plants and trees.

    The first thing that comes out of his mouth was, “Have you ever been in love.” “My reaction, I laughed and said yes with my illusion.” Boy, that opened up a nine-hour conversation. Which caused me a bad break out of Rosacea and Glaucoma attack and I missed my Eye Specialist appointment that day.

    In the end, he wanted a hug, well Lexie the German Shepard stood up and tried to bite him, on the face, if he had not reacted as he did, hand up protecting his face and hand in the dog’s mouth. He would have been bitten. He says oh I have one more beer you want to talk some more I said no and went in, agony.

I felt relieved though.

    On the other hand, the truth set him free from me. Scratch his truth about our marriage. He claimed he loved me and would take care of me. It all became the lie that lost itself in the day to day not marrying your one true love.

    I felt I did not deserve him because I was tainted and I would never be worthy. But this guy smoothed talked his way to marrying me fast. We made a pact he would take care of me, and I would not cheat on him. I did not want to stay with my parents. I was in no condition to work.

Since July 2016 I have only seen him five times.

    We do not talk on the phone anymore. He is a truck driver like our Son. He asked me one time, “do you worry about me?” I said no that’s not my job. My Son had to pick an 18 Wheeler job cross country, across the United States back down, then up again every 36 hours. I hate it. I have to put you in the Lord’s hands Son. Drive Careful. He loves it.

    My oldest daughter is expecting her sixth child. That makes the total seventeen grandchildren one in heaven. We never got to be Grandparents together. That is sad in a way. I miss him. There is just nothing left for us, to say to each other.

    It really is a good thing. He made his choice the day he left our family, never to return to once was. Thank You, Lord. I am happy to be free, not chained and gagged.

    I have written pages that I can Publish. Will I? Can I? Could I? Should I? We will see. Thank You, Lord, for all our times, “In Presence of Spirit.com” Short ones, long ones, all of them the whole bunch of our writings in, “You are, and I am In Presence of Spirit in Conversations with the Lord.” May 8, 2017, Wendy Yvette Greenwell

© 2017-2023 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell

1997

AMAZING TOO ME

The writings are amazing too me!

Rain, phone camera, flash, action
To capture such spiritual romance in the understanding of the past essence.

    To capture such spiritual romance in the understanding of the past essence. The Glory of God in the internal soul of time and reason, to the eternal state of being, it can be acquired, and maintained.

    What is Your plan for me, Lord? I realize I have more to edit; it needs to be done. I wish I would have kept better track, but I got what?

     I wrote it down, it came from Wendy, from  Jesus Christ Holy Spirit, that is Our Savior in the Spiritual Oneness, that was a promise to be given. Then appeared to the multitudes, and were’ past down from generation to generation, until now when all will be known.

    The secret mysteries are from and through the Passion of Christ, through the promises to our fore fathers, through the passages of time, to a greater awareness of the dysfunction of the negative, to the positive which is through Christ. 

     Only through Jesus Christ Life, Ministry, Death, Resurrection to Life Eternal, In Him, Through Him, Round about Him, One can find hope through Salvation, mind to heart eighteen-inch transition. Acceptance, The Baptism, then Deliverance. August 5, 1997, Wendy Yvette Greenwell

© 1997-2023 inpresenceofspirit.com Wendy Yvette Greenwell