Mike 2

If you are married, double sorry,

If you have a girlfriend, I’m sorry—it is what it is. Seeing what happened on February 9, 2011, that fateful day, you smiled at me, and that moment stayed. Writing became everything—words became like a “sword,” something alive, something that carried meaning. That day marked the beginning of so many things: my writing, my healing, and my awareness. Many things were said, many things misunderstood, but through it all, I kept writing.

You had a youthful presence, and when you smiled, it stayed with me. People online saw parts of it through what I published—power, control, emotion, and truth. There were many moments, many echoes of that time, and I carried them forward into everything I created. It would have been worse if life had been different—if I had been married then—but instead, I was left to rebuild. After everything, after the separation and the struggle, I had to recuperate. I had never worked before, and even keeping my children safe was a challenge.

When you got my attention that day—when you rubbed your hands together, clapped, and I looked—you sparked something in me. You made me smile, and that feeling never really left. It lit something in my heart and led me toward Jesus Christ and into my writing. I have been sharing ever since October 2011. That short, simple moment changed the direction of my life.

I’m telling you this because if something happens to me during my lung surgery, you may never know. I loved you then, and I love you now—in my own way. Furthermore, I needed closure back then, and something in me was torn away. My writing changed after that—stronger in some ways—but I never truly let you go.

There was something in that eye contact, something unspoken and intense, more than I had ever experienced before. You awakened something spiritual in me. Even now, I recognize it for what it was.

There is a letter for you on my site—it has grown over the years. I have made it private at times, but now it is online. I don’t know how you will receive it, but I needed to say thank you. Just acknowledging me helped me more than you could ever know.

My website is massive, built over years of writing. It’s not something that can be summed up in a few words. It tells the story of what happened, why I write, and why I continue to share, even without recognition or reward. Furthermore, it was never about money—it was about truth, spirit, and expression.

I felt I had to send this before surgery. I want nothing from you—only that you know. There have been many significant dates, memories, losses, and milestones. Through everything, my writing became a conversation with God, something ongoing, something eternal.

My mother once told me to pray for you to be with me. I told her no—I would not pray for that. Instead, I held you in spirit, in a place of love without possession.

Everything I have written comes from that place—from spirit, from connection, from something greater than myself. I hope one day you find it and understand that it came from light, not darkness.

Life has been heavy—loss, illness, recovery—but I continue. I quit smoking, I faced the biopsy, and I keep going. My writing continues, even when I feel stuck, even when I question everything.

This was always meant to be shared, piece by piece. Maybe it will be fully understood someday—perhaps even after I’m gone. But it is real, and it is mine.

I don’t know if I will send this, but at least now it exists—truthfully, openly. You are still part of that story, part of what shaped me.

And in all of it, I remain—in presence of spirit.

—Wendy